


Alone Again, Naturally

by GazelleofParadise



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, F/M, I think?, M/M, No apologies we die like, Sad Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Sad Jaskier | Dandelion, how to express his feelings, kinda sad, lonely Witcher man, no happy ending, post season 1 episode 6, post-mountain, so he doesn't, who doesn't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28893744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GazelleofParadise/pseuds/GazelleofParadise
Summary: Picking up after the mountain scene we see how Geralt deals with everything that happened and what he does when an old friend shows up after so long. (Spoiler alert he doesn't- deal with everything I mean. Oh you old witcher, when will you learn?)He didn't want to be alone anymore. But he didn't know how not to be after years of loneliness. Sometimes self-destruction is the worst enemy you can get.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg(implied)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Alone Again, Naturally

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ainanen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ainanen/gifts).



** Alone Again, Naturally **

He didn’t turn around till the ceasing sound of footsteps completely disappeared. His heightened senses couldn’t pick up the distinct gait of the Bard. He slightly turned his head and saw he was gone.  Jaskier was gone. He was completely alone. Again. As it has always been except for a few fleeting moments in time though they seemed so little and so sparsely in between considering all the years he lived.

Geralt couldn’t think of anything. His head filled with a static noise .The only thing taking up his mind. It wasn’t until the sun disappeared from the sky he even realised he has been standing there for hours.

A strong gust of wind started his mind again waking him from serenity. Thoughts raced each other trying to take up the main stage.  Yennefer was gone. Believing her feelings for him- if he could even call it that- were result of a damned djinn. A child of surprise he was supposedly meant to cross paths with was still out there. Lastly his thoughts drifted back to the bard who left after his lash out. The same bard who almost shitted himself when he saw the  Hirikka . His chances of getting out of this mountain without damage seemed slimmer with every passing second.

‘’Fuck!’’ escaped from the lips of the white-haired  witcher .

Geralt walked towards the cave residing Golden Dragon and his egg. He would stay there for the night as there was no point in leaving now. Come morning he would leave for the town.

Borch saw him at the mouth of the cave and turned to address him with his eyebrows slightly raised.

‘’I see you are done with your brooding  Witcher .’’

Geralt said nothing and kept going. He just had to keep going.

-

Geralt heard his voice before he saw him.  _ Jaskier _ _ , _ he was here in the keep. After not seeing him for 20 years he couldn’t dare to turn around and look at him. Before he could decide on whether to acknowledge or ignore him the choice was made in his stead. The bard was sitting in front him now. 

Geralt lifted his head and took in the sight of him. He could see Jaskier was doing the same. His eyes searching. Geralt knew he didn’t change in all the years but time started leaving its kisses on the man seated before him. The few white strands in his hair and the laughter lines beside his eyes, now deeper, were a proof of that. Jaskier broke the silence between them at last. Though his tone was far angrier than Geralt expected.

‘’You can’t even say it can you  Geralt ?’’

‘’Say what  Jaskier ?’’

‘’That you are sorry. You may be a hard man to get along with  Geralt but you are not unreasonable. You knew you were wrong . But you can’t even apologise for it. But then again I am sure you never used the word sorry in your life.’’

‘’I-‘’

His anger left as fast as it came. A deep sigh left his chest. Jaskier put his hand gently on Geralt’s, quieting him before he could say anything. He looked calm now and defeated.

‘’Look I, I am over it  Geralt . At first I denied that you meant what you said. I was  gonna wait for you that night. But then I got so… angry. I hated you. I hated how easy it was for you to blame me. How quickly you could dismiss me. ‘’

The look on  Jaskier’s eyes could break even the hardest of hearts. Hurt reflected from cornflower blue eyes like a hundred broken pieces of glass left out in the sun. He drew a shuddering breath in.

‘’I said to myself if he finds me this week, I’ll forgive him. A month passed and you didn’t come. I said if he ever says he is sorry I’ll forgive him. And 20 years passed. Here you are unable to say it. Oh god. When I realised it has been more than 10 years... It happened before. We have gone that long without crossing paths. But that was the point I realised you were not going to show up. You wouldn’t want to see me after that realization. But let me tell you I wrote my best songs that year.’’

The laugh escaping from  Jaskier’s throat felt so wrong.  Geralt didn’t know what to do with himself . Yet still  Jaskier carried on. Carrying the conversation for them both as he always had to before.

‘’And finally I accepted what happened. So I am not angry at you. I no longer expect anything from you. And you no longer get to blame me for your wrongs. I had a life before you came along  Geralt of  Rivia . And I can have one after you. It was just stupid of me to think I could have one with you. ‘’

Geralt’s eyes widened at the implications behind  Jaskier’s words. His mouth slightly opened letting a shocked breath leave his lungs.  Jaskier saw his expression. A sad smile found its place on his lips.

‘’You are not stupid you big bad  Witcher . Don’t act like one now.’’ 

Jaskier slightly petted  Geralt’s cheek twice. Letting his hand leave  Geralt’s face with a slight caress. Like a tender kiss goodbye left on a lovers cheek knowing destiny could not be fought against and this parting could not be prevented. As his hand clenched into a fist and relaxed once more his fingers drummed on the wooden table in between them. He put his hand on it to push himself up. The heartbroken bard let his eyes meet one last time with the White wolf’s in front of him and said his parting words.

‘’Goodbye  Geralt of  Rivia . My final advice to you as a… friend is this. Go after what you want. Or you will regret you never even tried. Take it from someone who knows.’’

Geralt was stuck to the table. All he could do was stare after  Jaskier as he left. A  witcher’s heart beats 4 times slower than a normal man’s they say. At that moment  Geralt could have sworn this may have been the first time since his transformation his heartbeat has been of a normal man’s. 

He should have followed after him. Stopped him. Told him.  _ No _ . Showed him what he wished he could say. That he made his heart beat like a normal man’s. That he made a mistake. That yes,  Yennefer made him talk like a normal man but he made him feel like a normal man and he- he wanted it both. He longed for them both. The little boy who has been left by his mother has finally found love again yet he screwed both of them up. 

Geralt’s hands shook. The man who fought monsters everyone feared looked at his trembling fingers. A wet substance fell on his right one. It took him five seconds to understand what it was. He was crying for the first time since he was a 16 year old boy. He was alone  _ once again _ . As he had always been and as he would always be...

**_ The End _ **

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. I hope that wasn't too bad. This has been sitting in my folder for so long and was probably gonna stay there. But my lovely friend @ainanen convinced me to just post it. Thanks for the encouragement babe.  
> I am so not used to writing a no happy ending I don't know if I did good or bad??? Thanks for reading anyway and I hope you enjoyed it.  
> To all who clicked on this silly work of mine I love you, I believe in you to do whatever you hope to do in your life. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. And never ever forget your own uniqueness. You are worthy and deserve good things in life. Go and kick life's ass :D


End file.
